Bologna 98: Chapter 3

CHAPTER III
FORMATION AND COMMUNITY LIFE
Prologue
84.
1. At the end of the twentieth century, the Order, along with the rest of the Church and of humanity, is confronted with the numerous challenges of a world, whose rapid evolution affects and puts religions and traditional ideas in question. This general chapter, the last of the century, is aware of all these challenges, and wishes to encourage the brothers and all the members of our Order, especially the youngest, to sustain the effort we are making to face better these new and original situations in our world today. Convinced that formation is one of the major tasks of the Order and that it depends in great part on the authenticity of our vocation and the quality of our community life, we want to underline here the necessity of a more global and complete vision of Dominican formation, which alone can unify and enliven our preparation for the doctrinal and prophetic mission of the Order.

2. "And he appointed twelve· to be with him" (Mk 3: 14). During three years, Jesus patiently taught and prepared his disciples for the preaching of the Kingdom through his actions and with power, and by the example of his whole life devoted to the Father. He took special care to form them at home or away from the crowds. (cf. Mk 4: 10; 6: 31;etc.), giving them special instructions for mission and for fraternal life in community (cf. Mk. 18). The call which is addressed to us today in the Dominican Family, is, first of all, a call to live in company with Christ the condition of a disciple, in our slow and progressive growth to maturity in faith. The process of complete Dominican formation, which begins with the years of initiation and continues with permanent formation, plunges its roots into and draws its dynamism from this patient search for God.

3. "If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." (Jn 8: 31-32) Interior freedom, the freedom which leads to the whole Truth, supposes that we engage in a voluntary process of conversion of heart, a process begun by our profession of vows and our commitment to the heart of the Order. As in preceding Chapters, we wish to reaffirm the importance of formation of heart in Dominican life. Compassion and mercy, reflections of the Face of the Saviour God, are welcomed and lived with a vulnerable heart, in a human affectivity which is often wounded and made fragile by all sorts of handicaps. The project of a chaste life opens the heart and one's whole being to new qualities in relationships, marked by humanity and the Gospel, both in community life and with the outside world.

4. It is more opportune than ever to recall that Dominican formation, whether it is human, intellectual, spiritual or pastoral, aims above all to make us true disciples of Christ, assiduous in listening to his Word, in the ardent search for the Truth of God, and stirred by the cries and groans of humanity in travail. Our spiritual tradition, the teaching and example of the saints of our Order, as well as the humble experience of God displayed in the daily life of our brothers and sisters, constitutes a support and a source of stimulation in our striving for conversion. Besides, creative fidelity to the doctrinal tradition of the Order can greatly contribute to a renewal of the philosophical and theological sciences in the Church. Contemplation, study and the apostolate remain the life-giving pillars of Dominican life.

5. The Gospels report that Jesus "began to send the twelve out two by two" (Mk 6: 7) to announce the Good News to all parts of Israel. Dominic was inspired, no doubt, by Jesus' action, when he dispersed his brothers across Europe to form them better for mission. Our fraternal collaboration in the mission received from Christ and following Dominic, constitutes a living witness and a strong sign that the Kingdom of God is already among us. In his Gospel, Luke tells us that the apostolic group, gathered around Jesus to help him to announce the Good News, was composed not only of the Twelve but also contained women who shared the life and mission of the community. The first Christian community in Jerusalem was also composed of apostles along with men and women all proclaiming the Good news of the Risen Lord, each according to his or her charism (cf. Acts, chapters 1-5). Today more than ever, collaboration between the branches of the Dominican Family is necessary. Collaboration can better incarnate and realise the charism transmitted by our Father, St. Dominic. It proves also to be, for all, a place of mutual formation in true dialogue, in sharing and solidarity, in the practice of fraternal correction and reconciliation.

6. This apostolic fraternity is one of the strong values we are called to live and witness to in our communities. Dominican community, inspired by the model of the apostolic community in Jerusalem, and challenged by the sometimes despairing search for community life in our societies, is called to rediscover in our democratic style of government and in the apostolic goal of lived fraternity, the prophetic values and Evangelical dynamism of the Beatitudes. The priory, or monastery, then appears as a "Holy Preaching", a house of prayer and preaching, where one "speaks of God or to God", where there is mutual help in sharing and example.

7. Finally, in the face of growing individualism and isolation which characterises our societies, communities are called to constitute a true challenge for young people in search of an ideal, through becoming true places of fraternity and prayer, characterised by research and by the service of truth, by the joyous celebration of the Word, by sharing in solidarity, goods, projects, responsibilities, and a concerted apostolic commitment. We can thus express, live and offer, in different ways, a new vision of the Order for the third millennium.
* * *
I. FORMATION
AFFECTIVE LIFE AND FORMATION
85.
The Chapter of Caleruega (42) and the Letter of the Master of the Order (The Promise of Life) invited us to "break the silence" and to open up discussion about our affective life. This question touches many aspects about the initial formation of the brethren. After some reflections on the process of maturing and formation, we will point out specific issues and make recommendations, hoping that it may help to address this question in a respectful, thoughtful and fraternal way.

Maturing and Formation

86.
1. Maturity: There is no maturity in itself. It varies according to age, individuals, family situations, states of life and cultures. Rapid changes in our life can deeply affect the maturity we thought we had reached. Nevertheless, there are basic markers that may be useful along our road. There is no maturity without personal autonomy, emerging from growth in self-awareness and knowledge. Throughout the stages of human life, we learn to keep an appropriate distance with regard to the pressures and claims coming from external forces, on the one hand, and we develop a capacity to welcome and cope with them, on the other. Maturity also requires an awareness of others, as different from us. This entails listening to and respecting others, trying to understand their thoughts and desires, while keeping a sense of one's own identity. In addition, there is the ability to discern and decide, in the midst of situations, and to adapt to them or oppose them. Maturity implies also the ability to deal with conflicts and failures and to rejoice in its successes.
Throughout the formation process, these challenges of growth in maturity have to be faced, aware that certain aspects of religious life can foster immaturity. For example, situations leading to infantile behaviour in the area of obedience such as submission or systematic rebellion in the face of authority; the absence of reference to constraining realities, as raising children or earning one's livelihood; frustrations concerning money, pleasure, salary or residence, which may leave a brother in a semi-adolescent state.

2. Prayer and dialogue: The life of prayer, with the inner stillness it requires and the meditation on the Word of God it presupposes, contributes to the self-renunciation that is necessary for becoming mature. It continually refers us to self knowledge and to true solitude. We are confronted with ourselves, invited to take off our masks and to purify our motivations. The life of prayer, to be fruitful, has to be authenticated by conversion in daily life: "So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go first and be reconciled to your brother" (Mt 5,23-24). Learning true dialogue with others in community life--with all that dialogue implies of silence, of listening to others, but also of expressing oneself--is another element of formation and of becoming mature.

3. Apostolic experiences: Apostolic experiences have an important role in maturing. In these activities, our brothers in formation learn the "going out of oneself" required in serving others. There also, the meeting with others in their differences, be they young or old, women or men, socially marginalised or integrated, native or foreigners, with their opinions and their real needs, is a place of growth in maturity. These experiences in the formation process must be talked about, reflected on and evaluated.

4. Mobility: Affective maturity does not happen without going through experiences of exodus and exile. Existence is a series of departures from previous states toward new ones. We must, in a way, uproot ourselves in order to put down new roots. The Paschal mystery is at work in these journeys. The danger is that these difficult passages are often replaced by successive and cumulative rootings, which do not always succeed because we fear loss and, as a result, we get weighed down. This is related to our mobility as preachers. How can we be formed to an itinerant way of life?

5. Vows: Work, love, and life in society (or action, attachment, and project), are three essential sources of dynamism in coming to affective maturity. They correspond to the areas touched on by our vows: poverty (or sharing of work and resources), chastity (or the capacity to love and allow oneself to be loved), obedience (or developing and sharing projects with others). These three areas are essential for the human development of an individual. Becoming mature in our affective life (love-attachment) can only be realised along with development in the other two areas. In the formation program, the connections between the vows and these sources of dynamism need to be underlined.

Specific Issues
Crises
87.
1. Identity crisis: Our social and ecclesial context is marked by an identity crisis. There is confusion about the identity of religious life and the priesthood in our societies while there is little pressure from society for these identities to be more meaningful and visible. Meanwhile, there is a lot of social pressure related to sexual and professional identity, even though these two fields are also affected by confusion due to changing behaviour patterns and unemployment. The outcome seems to be a process of identity seeking, which is necessary for affective maturity, but which is quite often chaotic. People may stress exclusively certain questions, like religious identity, sexual identity, professional identity (such and such a ministry or field of study). These things can absorb one's total attention. This context affects the brethren in formation.

2. Personal crisis: In our communities, brethren go through deep personal crises, and sometimes they leave the Order, often after solemn profession or just before or after ordination. Crises are part of the normal process of affective and spiritual maturing. While going through the storm on the lake, we may think that Christ has abandoned us, but he is there with us and we can reach the other shore where yet a new challenge awaits us (Lk 8,22-26). These crises point out the difficult transitions to adulthood. There are many factors at work in these crises, which are healing even if threatening. One significant factor is the very slow maturity process of young people today. They take a long time to enter into adulthood, even when it doesn't always appear so, since young people in some areas are more mature than people used to be at their age. Our formation cycle is long, and the brothers often enter the Order at a later age, even after several years of studies. In some cases, the long duration of the formation program slows down the maturing process. The choice of religious life is not always integrated psychologically as an adult choice since it does not immediately give the brother a new status but instead holds him back: he is still in formation.

Exhortation
88.
We exhort the provincials, superiors and formators not to conclude hastily that a brother who is going through a crisis will necessarily leave the Order and to try to understand what is at stake in this crisis. We make the same exhortation to the brethren in formation and invite them to talk about what they experience, in trust and truth with another brother, before taking any decision.

Relationships

89.
1.Relationships to women: It is important that we clarify for ourselves and our communities our image and attitude regarding women. What do we convey to others through our behaviour, our way of speaking about women, especially those who are closest to us? No doubt there are cultural differences according to what part of the world, or what country, we live in. There are also individual differences. Nevertheless, in fact, a formation is given and transmitted through all this, which either fosters or impedes affective maturing and may lead to either more mature or unhealthy relationships in our ministry and personal life. We need to be more sensitive on this issue.

2. Sexual orientation: On the issue of sexual orientation, cultural differences and social contexts play an important role and there are many dimensions of this question that need to be deepened. But, as the Chapter of Caleruega and the Letter of the Master of the Order stated, "the same demands of chastity apply to all brethren of whatever sexual orientation and so no one can be excluded on this ground". In the expression of Caleruega "no sexual orientation is a priori incompatible with the call to chastity and the common fraternal life." Some brothers who enter the Order are concerned with the question of homosexuality. Two difficulties are often met which formators must pay attention to since they can be an obstacle to the practice of chastity and to integration within the community. The first is that one becomes obsessed, either individually or collectively, with the question of sexual identity, whether or not the subject is talked about. The second one, which often results from the first, is that certain communities could develop subgroups, which could be a source of tension between brothers. On these difficulties, the Letter of the Master offers wise reflections (Promise of Life, 2.4-B).

3. Families: The relationship of brothers with their families is another delicate issue. For many brothers, their family situation and parental ties are serious handicaps for their long-term integration in the Order, as well as for their affective maturity and their true freedom. Many have difficulty leaving their families to take roots in religious life and to create a new kind of relationship with their families of origin. Part of the formation process is learning to leave one's home and to belong to a new family, feeling a part of it and creating new loyalties.

Recommendations
90.
We recommend that in our programs of initial formation there be serious reflection and sharing on affective life and maturity, sexuality, celibacy and chaste love.
91.
We recommend that the formators, in their local and regional meetings, address the issues of affective life, crisis and growth, sexuality and chastity, and deepen their knowledge of Dominican spirituality.
Accompaniment
92.
Accompaniment is traditional in the Order but it has become even more important nowadays. Individuals who come to us today are more different from each other than in the past. Therefore, formation is done differently. The new brothers often do their studies outside of Dominican houses, use money and have more freedom. This is neither better nor worse, it is different. Accompaniment has also become more necessary because of the difficulty people have today in making commitments. It takes longer to become an adult. Families are more unstable and the new brothers frequently come from such families: this raises problems of personal integration. Many live in countries where war or conflicts prevail: it is not easy then to build a sense of personal identity. Many lack basic knowledge of faith; they do not have the same maturity as Christians that they have in other areas of their life.

Further, the shape of what is a Dominican is not as clear as it was before. You cannot just learn to imitate a model. Everyone has to find his own way of being a Dominican. It is important to have someone who will listen to our questions and help us make sure that the choices we make are good for our future as Dominicans. Various figures of our Dominican tradition, brothers and sisters who embody some aspect of our spirituality, can become inspiring companions in building up our Dominican identity.

Recommendations, Exhortation

93.
Accompaniment is usually the task of the master of novices or brothers in formation. This role may also be taken by others, apt to do it, for example someone from the admission team to whom the candidate has already talked of personal matters. We recommend that the formator, who is responsible for the unity of formation, be in charge of making sure that an accompaniment is provided, one way or the other.
94.
There is also an accompaniment in all of daily life, through the support that we give each other. In their role of accompaniment, we strongly exhort the formation communities to avoid talking destructively about the faults of the community or a brother.
95.
We recommend that the brethren in formation take part, on a regular basis, in faith sharing groups, either among themselves or with other people. This is to be done not only for their own personal and spiritual growth but also to develop the habit of doing it and the skills in this area.
First assignation
96.
As fr. Damian Byrne reminded us, the period of first assignation after initial formation is crucial. The crises that young brothers face arise from the fact that, after leaving initial formation, there is both an uprooting and a growing of new roots which has to be gone through. The more protected milieu of the studentate, with its strong affective relationships with people of one's own generation, has to be left behind in order to enter into communities where it is necessary to create other types of relationships with brothers of other generations. Also, many of our brothers do not easily find suitable apostolic activities and the individualism in our communities makes it difficult to develop common projects. Crises, when intense, are sometimes "solved" by activism, falling in love or by moving away from the community. Similar problems can be found among young couples a short time after their marriage. However uneasy this period may be, it cannot be altogether spared the brethren, who must find ways of coping with these difficulties.

Recommendations
97.
We remind the provincials, the superiors and the communities of the importance of their role towards the younger brothers who have completed their initial formation and are in their first years of ministry. These brothers should be accepted with the formation they have received, different from that of their predecessors. We recommend that the newly assigned brothers choose for themselves an older brother with whom they shall regularly share their experiences and challenges.
98.
We recommend that the provincials and vicars organize a study and in-depth reflection on the difficulties and crises related to the first years after initial formation, their causes and ways of facing them.
The Intellectual And Pastoral Formation of The Brothers
Introduction
99.
From the start, and by the will of Saint Dominic himself, our Order has integrated studies as an essential element of our life, vital to the exercise of our mission as preachers. This concerns first of all the study of theology studies - sacra doctrina - but also, in a broader sense, studies in the humanities that can help us to accomplish better our task as preachers of the Gospel. Thus, intellectual formation, especially at a theological level, is an integral part of initial formation. It is not some isolated compartment in the ensemble of formation, but rather an aspect of a whole which is simply the integral formation of a Dominican.
Recommendations

100.
Each Province used to have a studium and consequently was able to give the young brothers intellectual formation in accordance with the tradition of the Order. In speaking of the tradition of the Order, we wish to make reference above all to Saint Thomas Aquinas, his theological and philosophical thought and his sense of synthesis, of openness and of freedom that are characteristic of his whole work. Nowadays, most provinces send their students for their intellectual formation to institutes that are not dependent on us. The result is that a great number of young Dominican friars know almost nothing about the doctrinal tradition of the Order. It is as if a part of the Order were firmly cut off from one of its sources of identity, one of the sources that put vitality into common life, into prayer and into the mission.
For this reason, we recommend that those provinces who do not have their own studium either get other provinces who do have one to help them, or else put together efficient means to fill this gap in intellectual formation in line with Dominican tradition.

101.
We recommend that the brothers in initial formation use modern means of exchange, communication and intellectual research, such as the Internet.

102.
As is said in no.18 of the RSG, "Gradually, in every area of the curriculum, and with strict discipline the student shall be initiated into pastoral practice·" We draw attention to this norm and we recommend that pastoral experiences be well prepared, that there be good accompaniment and proper evaluation. Moreover, as regards early pastoral experience, a very efficient form of preparation for ministry is undoubtedly personal accompaniment for each brother, taking into consideration his capabilities, his likes and his skills. Just as in our other commitments, our pastoral practice, for us Dominicans, must be characterised by, amongst other things, appropriate intellectual and scientific rigour.
103.
We recommend that the fields of pastoral experience be chosen in such a way that they include the widest variety possible of apostolic work in specialised ministries. In the choice of fields, it is necessary to consider the apostolic priorities of the Order adopted by the last general chapters: catechesis in dechristianised places and cultures; the cultural policy of the Order; justice in the world; and the integration of the means of social communication. Another aspect that we believe is important in the pastoral formation of the brothers, and that we therefore recommend, is learning how to collaborate: how to collaborate among brothers, with the laity, men and women, and with the other branches of the Dominican family.
Exhortations
104.
However, we exhort all those in charge of formation to see that the pastoral commitments of the young brothers do not inhibit them from devoting themselves seriously to studies (ACG Oakland, 36).

105.
During or after institutional studies, all the brothers should be able to benefit from preparation for apostolic ministry that is more to the point and better adapted. For this reason, we exhort each Province itself to organise a time of pastoral formation, during or at the end of institutional studies, with a programme that takes into account the specifics of our mission and the socio-cultural milieux of the territories of the Province.

106.
Since Quezon City, General Chapters have drawn our attention to the importance of the problems of Justice and Peace in our preaching of the gospel; consequently, we must all take this apostolic priority of the Order upon ourselves more and more. For this reason, we strongly exhort those in charge of initial and permanent formation to organize courses, workshops and study sessions on the priority of Justice and Peace in our mission, taking advantage of the Notebooks (Cahiers) published to this effect by a team of experts of the Order, and also by using the Internet.

Formation of Formators
107.
We have identified certain problems in regard to the task of formators:
a) Formators are difficult to find.
b) It is important that they be well prepared for their task, and often we do not give them the chance to prepare themselves for that task.

There is no doubt that to be responsible for the formation of the young friars as novices and students is a very important and difficult task. We wish to commend those involved in formation at all levels and thank them for their generous service.
Recommendations
108.
We recommend that the formators be appointed ahead of time, if possible, so that they have time to prepare themselves properly for that task;
109.
We recommend:
a) while taking into consideration LCO 182, III, that it be clear that they are appointed for a limited period of time, during which they are asked to render the Province a special service;
b) that they be freed from other assignments both within the Order and outside it, which would limit the time necessary to devote to the men in formation.
c) that their work in formation be their principal ministry.
110.
We recommend that those chosen for work in formation should show signs of the following qualities: a sincere love of people and a love of the Order, even with its limitations; capacity for listening; capacity to accept the younger brothers as they are and to challenge them when necessary. They should be men of prayer whose life-styles express the basic dimensions of Dominican life, since it is mainly through their lives that they will preach and form the young friars (RFG 135-136).
111.
We recommend that formators receive a special formation in the skills necessary for accompanying and counselling the brothers in formation (RFG 134) due to the psychological dimension involved.

112.
We recommend that they also receive proper training in our Dominican traditions and spirituality, since it is very important that they be well prepared to orient the young in all things concerning their spiritual growth.
113.
Their formation should not be limited to the time just before they take up their office. There is a necessary dimension of continuing formation, part of which could be done through sharing with other formators in the formation council of the Province. However, we recommend that the formation of formators be done on a regional basis, rather than just on a local or even an international level. And, on that regional level, an important part of the on going formation could be accomplished by simply sharing the experiences of formation with other formators. But it would be better if a program were developed on the different aspects of religious formation and the difficulties involved.
114.
Such meetings of formators already exist in some areas and should continue. In the regions where they do not exist yet, we recommend that the Socius of the Master of the Order for that region take the initiative of organising an initial meeting and that the friars in those regions agree on the best way to proceed.
115.
We recommend that at those regional meetings of brothers in formation, the formators of the other branches of the Dominican Family be invited.

Collaboration in Formation

116.
1. Forming the friars who enter the Order is, first of all, the responsibility of the Province which receives these men. This is the usual and normal situation when a Province has a certain number of candidates and the resources to form them. However, this is not always possible and collaboration among entities becomes a necessity.
2. It could be feared, by some, that by receiving their first formation in another entity, the new friars would not develop a strong sense of their identity as members of their own province or vicariate. However, sometimes the experience is quite to the contrary. While formation should give a strong sense of being rooted in one's own province or vicariate, it should also, at the same time, open the new friars to the universal dimension of the Order.
3. It has been stressed in recent years that the initial formation of religious should take place within there own cultural environment. Too strong a cultural shock could be harmful to a new friar and hinder his developing a Dominican identity as member of his own culture. However, formation in an entity of the same region, without strong cultural differences, could help the friars in formation to develop a sense of their identity by comparison with others. They can learn to identify in their context of formation and to keep some distance at the same time.
4. Since there are many ways to collaborate in formation which vary, perhaps, from an occasional sending of a new friar to the novitiate of another province to having a common house of studies for two or more entities in the same region, it would seem unwise to try to establish a common legislation or common norms that should cover all the situations. But we are aware of the importance of having a common understanding and clear norms, were it only to avoid the dangers of interference in the process of formation.
5. Over the years, in many Provinces, friars have often collaborated in the formation programs of Dominican sisters both of active and contemplative life. We think that a mutual collaboration between the different branches of the Order would be beneficial to all. In many parts of the world, programs which include some common formation programs for men and women candidates have shown very positive results. When possible, we suggest that Dominican, men and women, collaborate with one another in their formation programs in all the stages.
Recommendations
117.
We recommend collaboration with other Dominican entities within the same region as a good way of assuring formation when a province or vicariate lacks the necessary resources to fulfil the demands of a good formation program.
118.
We recommend that even in those provinces which have the necessary resources to do their own formation by themselves to consider the possibility of sending their friars in formation out of the province for a part of their formation, because of the widening of mental horizons that such an experience can bring.
This does not apply to the friars only, but also to the nuns. We therefore commend the monasteries who have sent nuns in formation to a common novitiate or to other monasteries, and we encourage others to examine the possibility to do so.
119.
We strongly recommend that the entities involved in collaborative formation agree on clear norms so that the formators have all the freedom that they need within that framework.
120.
We recommend that the same principles and criteria be used in the successive stages of formation in order to insure coherence in the process.

II. COMMUNITY LIFE

Introduction

121.
The reflection on our common life is an ongoing process in General Chapters. On this topic, much has been said in the Chapters of Mexico and Caleruega, that we want to make our own.
To this reflection, the present Chapter brings its contribution by reminding us about the sources of our community life and by drawing our attention to the exercise of our democracy and of the context in which it is lived, the "community project".
Relationship to God and to one another.
122.
1. The deepest reality of our lives is our relationship with God who not only calls us to be Dominican, but continues to be with us every moment as we live our vocation. The reality of God's call, our acceptance and the approval of the Order is the reason for our calling one another Brother or Sister; it is the basis for our democracy, and the root of our spiritual maturity as individuals and as a community. We receive of the fullness of Christ and we share that fullness with our Dominican brother or sister and the people we are called to serve.
2. Prayer. We are called to deeper prayer, to recognise the presence of God, to reach out to him and embrace him from the centre of our being.
Our relationship with God, our life of prayer, make it possible for us to open ourselves to the other and so to live community life. In the exercise of personal prayer, we learn something of the importance of affirming one another, of listening, and of overcoming the fears of faith-sharing. The sharing of prayer-experiences, or of some spiritual experience with one or two persons or in small groups can initiate a new freedom and openness. This helps human development and is a good foundation for a healthy affective life.
3. Vocation and community: From the point of view of God's plan for creation, people are to enter into relationships with each other. For their personal progress, and for the fulfilment of their vocation given by God, there is referral to one another. Only in being together can particular gifts flourish and come to fruition for others.
What is a common rule for all applies in a special way to us as communities of preaching brothers and sisters. By the force of God's Word, whoever wants to announce God's love and compassion must also give witness by his life that we are made for each other. This is why "To be one heart and one soul in God" (Rule of St Augustine) is and remains the most important proclamation of the Word which our communities can give. The lack of interest in each other, and self-fulfilment understood in a self-centred and individualistic manner, always belies what we preach.
4. Accompaniment: Accompaniment is more than something we offer to new Dominicans. It is part of the process of our life together. We accompany each other in fraternal life. Some brothers help and accompany us because they can understand us and are a step ahead of us in Dominican life. Others listen patiently to all our questions and help us identify our problems and discover the direction in which we have to go. For this to happen, we have to trust each other, so that we can talk freely and personally to one another.
We are currently faced with many different ways of leading our lives. Taking this into account, it has become more difficult to discover an acceptable form of self-fulfilment without at the same time falling into selfish individualism or else, on the contrary, being unable to distinguish between obedience and infantile behaviour. So, our brothers can be allowed to find someone to accompany them, in order to clear up some of the questions concerning one aspect or another of their existence and their vocation.
Whenever professional help is requested, the brother concerned ought to seek advice from his superior. One should check and make sure that this professional helper, male or female, possess at least some knowledge of our way of life in the Order, and be able to appreciate the sense of self-responsibility and the democratic process for making decisions.
5. Friendship: We look with pride at the inestimable value that friendship has brought and can still bring to the Order. Wherever friendship succeeds, it should be appreciated as the fullest and most intensive brotherly or sisterly accompaniment. Real friends are not exclusive, nor overly directive with each other, nor is one superior or inferior to the other, but they remain lovingly united to each other even when they criticise or challenge each other, for their growth towards human maturity or the deepening of their life in the Order. At the same time they can give one another the necessary human and emotional support.
Our democracy

124.
1. Its goal: In society, democracy is often simply a matter of finding the will of the majority. One votes with the purpose of winning, of having one's opinion determine the course of things. The goal of our democratic process, however, is to come to a consensus between the members of the community on what is the common good. There is not a government and an opposition. We all share the same way of life and we try to determine what is the best for the mission of the Order and for the life of the community. It takes longer, as we often experience with a sense of frustration, but the result binds the community together.
2. An art of dialogue: Our democratic process requires the participation of all, an openness and the readiness to let go of one's privileges and to accept personal sacrifices. On the other hand, it should not dampen personal initiative; on the contrary, we have to be ready to take initiatives to make things move, and bring the best of ourselves to the common good. But that does not mean doing what we want, and presenting to the community an accomplished fact.
Our democracy cannot function without the art of dialogue among the friars. One has to listen to what the others want to express, without imposing on them preconceived opinions. And one is not to repeat endlessly the same arguments, once they have been expressed and understood by the others. One has to let go of one's personal agenda. The practice of such dialogue, in which one affirms oneself while at the same time respecting the other, requires affective maturity. It also has to do with our vow of obedience, for the discussion leads to a decision that everybody will have to accept and implement.
3. Learning: Democracy touches all our life, which is moulded by it. Our preparation for the art of dialogue is never done once and for all, and everyone has to perfect it and learn it over and over again. This is true in a special way of the new friars coming to the Order. For a good part, their learning will be done by experiencing our democracy in action, how decisions are made in chapters, how our superiors are elected, and by participating progressively in the process. It is an important aspect of formation that the community itself gives to the new friars by the way it lives its life.
The functioning of democracy in meetings and chapters presupposes certain skills. They are for a good part natural. But they can be developed, and partly acquired. Developing these skills can help everybody to be a better participant in community meetings. But they are particularly important for superiors and the moderators of community meetings.
Recommendations and exhortation.
124.
We recommend that all brothers, and particularly the superiors and moderators of community meetings, do all they can to acquire the skills of moderating meetings.

125.
We recommend that these skills be developed and practised throughout initial formation.

126.
We exhort all brothers to support the efforts of those who try to develop these skills and to use them in community meetings.

The life of the community as a common project.
127.
1. The Acts of the last General Chapters (Caleruega 44, Mexico 39, Oakland 38) all ask that communities plan their apostolate and the whole life of the community. Since the Chapter of Mexico, this planning process has been termed "community project". We invite the friars to go back to these texts. Continuing the work of the preceding chapters, we want to present a short reflection on the ideal that is thus proposed to us, and on some practical difficulties related to it.
2. The ideal of fraternal life: To the delegation which came to ask him to silence Fray Antonio de Montesino after his sermon on the second Sunday of Advent in 1511, the Prior Pedro de Cordoba replied that he would not do it because the whole community had been preaching. The goal of the "community project" is to develop a fraternal life that would have the same spirit, and where the missionary actions of the individual brothers and the life of the whole community would be bound in the same way. It is the realisation of the precept of the Rule of Saint Augustine: "You are together in order to have one heart and one soul in God".
Born of the need for planning the mission of the community, the idea of community project has come to encompass all aspects of its life. It calls for the participation of all in the planning and the building of community life. But most of all, it is a matter of communication among the members of the community and of the meaning of our life together; it is the common endeavour of building the community life into a fraternity.
In that perspective, the community is not only the place where individual apostles can find shelter, food and a place to pray as a base for their individual apostolic work. It is a body, responsible for preaching the gospel in a certain setting, for meeting certain needs, taking into account the talents and the works of its members. It is also a place where missionaries, who are also brothers, can find acceptance, support and a sense of belonging. Through sharing and making decisions together on the mission, the community can better fulfil it. All the members of the body will bring their collaboration to the mission, through action and prayer. Everybody will come to own, so to speak, what the others do. And the sense of unity, of being part of a body, will develop.
This ideal of a community project is connected to our way of living democracy as participation in the life of the community as a body.
3. Its Realization: A common sense of apostolic responsibility is possible only if there is a shared interest in the needs of a given milieu, and a readiness to organize and change, if necessary, the life of the community and of its members, so that it can best meet those needs. And the sense of being part of the community as a body grows through community meetings held regularly.
The life of our communities may seem far from that ideal. Brothers are sometimes reluctant to share about their ministry. Sometimes also, the wounds of the past, long gone or recent, are an obstacle, in that they close friars to one another; they have to be attended to and healed so that common life can flow again. We refer to the suggestions of the Chapter of Caleruega on reconciliation (43.2).
The experience of some communities is that a "community project", which is the life of the community lived as a common project, is possible and worthwhile. Where the "project" is well defined and applied, it works and binds the community together.
Exhortations
We propose the following exhortations.
128.
That the brothers be aware of the importance of learning to live together with their differences.
129.
That, when necessary as a first step for elaborating a community project, the brothers begin by simply naming what they do in their ministry and sharing with each other on that, as a step to establishing a fruitful dialogue.
130.
That special attention be paid by the superior to the wounds of the past and to the need of reconciliation between the members of the community
131.
That criteria be established in the community for the choice of ministries by the brothers and that no new ministries be accepted without the agreement of the community.
132.
That the community come to appreciate and support the work of all the brothers, those who minister at the frontiers as well as those who have more traditional ministries and those who make daily life possible in the community.
133.
That the community evaluates itself periodically regarding the building of its life in unity.
Recommendation
134.
We would like the nuns to pay attention to the whole of this document on Formation and Community Life. We recommend them to study it carefully and exhort them to apply what is of value and valid for them too, in order to live even better their vocation as Nuns of the Order of Preachers.

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