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3. Community

All monastic communities should be places of mutual love in which God makes his home. “Because of the mutual love involved, fraternal life is a God-filled space” (Verbi Sponsa 6). But the Dominican tradition has a particular understanding of the common life. You too take your vows on the Rule of St Augustine, remembering that the end for which we are called “is to dwell in unity in the house and be of one mind and one heart in God”. Jesus called the apostles to be with him before they were sent out to preach. For you, too, the common life is part of your preaching.

Community and Friendship

The Dominican tradition of community is deeply marked by how we understand our relationship with God. In the Church there are two major traditions. One sees our relationship with God in spousal terms, the love of the Bridegroom and the Bride. The other sees it in terms of friendship. Both are found in the Order, but we have especially kept alive the Johannine theology of friendship, which has often been neglected. For St Thomas Aquinas, the heart of God’s life was the friendship of the Father and the Son, which is the Holy Spirit. In the Spirit we are God’s friends. And so praying is talking to God as to a friend. According to Carranza, a sixteenth century Spanish Dominican, prayer is “conversing familiarly with God.... discussing all your affairs with God, whether they are exalted or lowly, of heaven or of earth, to do with the soul or to do with the body, great or small; it is to open your heart to him and pour yourself out entirely before him, leaving nothing hidden; it is to tell him your labours, your sins, your desires, and all the rest, everything that is in your soul, and to relax with him as one friend relaxes with another.”

The spousal tradition is also found in the Order, for example in Jordan of Saxony, Catherine of Siena and Agnes of Langeac. But for them this love is not a private relationship with God, but is embodied in love of the brethren and the sisters. “How can you love God whom you do not see, if you do not love your brother whom you see?” (1 Jn. 4.20). Jordan writes to Diana, “Christ is the bond whereby we are bound together; in him my spirit is knit fast with your spirit; in him you are always, without ceasing, present to me wherever I may wander.” “Let us love one another in him and through him and for him.” Catherine is clear that her love of Christ the Bridegroom is the same love that she has for her friends. The Lord says to her, “Love of me and love of neighbour are one and the same thing” This means that our contemplative life should open our eyes to our sisters and brothers. When we say the Rosary, we follow the mysteries of Christ’s life, moments of joy, sorrow and glory. Are we awake to the “mysteries” of the lives of the members of our community, which are not always joyful and glorious?

Our friendship with God becomes flesh and blood in the texture of community life. I have seen the fruit of this in the joy of so many recreations with you. Sr. Barbara from Herne wrote, “It is there in the recreation that the nuns express their joy at being together, they laugh a lot, even to the point of surprising retreatants in the guest house who overhear these signs of merriment for half an hour or so each evening.” These nuns are the heirs of a long tradition. Once when Dominic came back to S Sisto late, he got the nuns up so that he could teach them and then relax with them over a glass of wine. He kept encouraging them to drink more, “bibite satis” . In my experience it is usually the nuns who say that to the brethren! That joy is so much part of our tradition that Jordan even interprets the phrase “enter into the joy of the Lord” as joining the Order, where “all your sorrows shall be turned into joy and your joy no one can take from you” .

This friendship with the brethren and sisters has been one of the greatest joys of my life, but it can also be hard. And the joy and the hardship must be even more intense for you, since you will probably live with the same sisters all your life. At least if some brother finds me intolerable, he can hope that I will be assigned elsewhere one day. He will not have to put up with me until I die. Cardinal Hume told me that when he was young, his Abbot said to him, “Basil, remember that when you die, there will surely be at least one monk who will be relieved” So for you community life is an especial joy and also a challenge which is impossible without mercy and generosity. Tauler says that when a brother is intolerable, then say to yourself, “He probably has a headache today”. Some sisters may appear to have very frequent headaches!

When we make profession, we ask “for God’s mercy and yours”. To be a Dominican is to promise to offer and receive that mercy. Each day we call upon God “to forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us”. Each sister is given the liberating power to forgive, a share in God’s ability to make all things new. It is the freedom to open the doors of the prisons which each of us builds, to summon each other out of the tomb into new life. Each of you has a ministry of reconciliation in the community. Each of you can speak a word that heals.

Enclosure

This idea of friendship may help us to a Dominican understanding of enclosure. There are intense discussions about enclosure in some monasteries: How often should the nuns be allowed to leave the monastery and for what reasons? I will not enter into these questions. First of all, it could be divisive to do so, and the Master of the Order must above all have a care for unity. Secondly there can only be consensus on these practical questions if we have first clarified the nature of enclosure. Verbi Sponsa says it “is a special way of being with the Lord” (3) It is concerned with building a home with God rather than with rules. It is about love rather than law. It is not a flight from the wicked world so much as building a space in which we learn not to flee from God’s friendship and from each other and even ourselves. What matters is not the enclosure as an exclusion of the world, but what it contains, a life with God, just as a glass can be filled with wine.

In the beginning, the monasteries were literally homes for the brethren. Prouilhe and later San Sisto were the brethren’s homes, from which they went to preach. As the number of brethren increased, this could not continue. No doubt the brethren ruined the peace of the monastery, coming back late at night and demanding to be fed, arguing with each other when the sisters longed for silence! We each needed our own homes. But the monasteries remained homes for the brethren in a more profound sense. For Jordan of Saxony, the monastery in Bologna was the home of his heart, even though he was rarely there. He writes to Diana, “Am I not yours, am I not with you? Yours in labour, yours in rest; yours when I am with you, yours when I am far away” . The monastery is home because it is a place where the nuns live with God (LCM 36), and so it is there that others can glimpse the true home we all seek, where we will rest in God, our eternal Sabbath. That is why so often monasteries are at the heart of the Dominican Family. Often the Dominican Family gravitates to the monastery as the place where we are all at home. That is why welcoming guests to a monastery, wisely and so as not to disturb the rhythm of your life, can be a way of sharing the fruit of your enclosure.

“It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” (Hebrews 10.31). It can be hard to live with God. We find ourselves in the desert, awake at Gethsemane and watching at Golgotha. Sometimes the contemplative must live in the dark but, as the Cloud of Unknowing says, “Learn to be at home in this darkness”. The temptation is to run away from God and to find refuge in small consolations, and tiny desires. We can be tempted to fill our life with little projects, hobbies, and gossip, just to fill the emptiness. We must leave that emptiness there for God to fill. The monastery is a home not because you have fled the world, but if you dare not to run away from God. Dare to abide in darkness and to be at home in the night without fear. As the English poet D H Lawrence wrote, “It is terrible to fall into the hands of the living God, but it is even more terrible to fall out of them”.

We may also be tempted to flee from our brothers and sisters, and evade the challenge of building a loving home in which God may dwell. Above all we may be tempted to flee from ourselves. In the monastery there is no hiding place. Here we learn, in Catherine’s words, to “dwell in the house of self-knowledge” (Dialogues 73), seeing oneself without fear “in the gentle mirror” of God, and knowing oneself as loved. When we are at home with ourselves then we shall be at home with God.

Clear rules about the enclosure are needed, but if they become a source of conflict and division, then they undermine the ultimate purpose of enclosure, to find a home in the infinite love and mercy of God. It is vital that discussion about the enclosure is carried on with charity and the search for mutual understanding. If it produces anger and intolerance, then we shall undermine the enclosure more completely than if the nuns were slipping out of the monastery each day.

However small the enclosure may feel, dwelling with God opens out an immense space, of “the breadth and height and depth of the love of God” (cf LCM 36). Sr Margaret Ebner says how when she received the Eucharist sometimes “my heart was so full that I could not comprehend it. I thought that it was as wide as the whole world” This “expansion of the heart” (latitudinem cordis), of which Thomas speaks, opens us to the immensity of God. If we dwell with the Lord then he will lead us into wide spaces even in a little enclosure. If the enclosure is lived well then its fruit is magnanimity, largeness of heart, in which all pettiness is transcended.

Government

The Dominican spirituality of friendship finds expression above all in our system of government, which is based on the dignity of each sister and the equality of all. Government is not the task of a few sisters, but the way in which all share in the responsibility for the life of the community.

At the heart of good government is obedience, “not like slaves under the law, but like free women under grace” (cf LCM Fund. VI). As fr Damian Byrne wrote in a letter to the Mexican Federation, “The word obedience means to listen. In the Dominican tradition you have to listen in your monasteries to the Prioress, the Council and the Chapter. Each has its own authority which must take into account other legitimate authorities. No authority can dominate on its own.” So monasteries will flourish and be happy if the nuns listen to each other. Above all, the Chapter is where this mutual listening happens. “In order that their contemplative life and sisterly communion may be more abundantly fruitful, participation of all in the ordering of the life of the monastery is of great importance: ‘A good which meets with general approval is quickly and easily achieved.’(Humbert of Romans)” (LCM 7).

In my experience of the brethren, Chapters are life-giving when we have the confidence to speak and the confidence to listen. To speak in the Chapter can be frightening. It took me almost a year to open my mouth, and I used to write down what I wished to say on a piece of paper and scrutinise it several times before I dared say a word. Usually by then it was too late! The superior has the role of building up the community by encouraging all to speak, especially those who hesitate or disagree with the majority. Disagreement does not mean disloyalty or disunity.

We also need the confidence to listen without fear. Listening is a fruit of that silence in which we open our ears to God. The contemplative life should be a formation in listening. A Polish nun said to me “Everyone is talking today but no one is listening. We nuns are here to listen.” The fruit of listening to God in silence should be attentiveness to what one’s sisters really say, and not what one fears that they might say or expect them to say. True listening is only possible if one is at peace. Often when a sister tries to articulate a doubt or a question, she will not find the right words. She will fumble and sound confused or strident, and it would be easy to crush or dismiss her. But if we listen attentively and intelligently, then we catch the grain of truth that she has to share. This means always putting the best interpretation on what she says, listening with a charitable ear. The whole of the Summa Theologica is founded on the principle of taking the objections seriously. The search for consensus may take time. If the community does not reach consensus, then a minority will more easily accept the final decision if it knows that it has been heard.

It can be frightening to discuss the real issues. We may not be sure where the discussion will lead us. But fear is the greatest enemy of religious life. If we have confidence in the Lord, then the waters of chaos will not overwhelm us. If we let fear rule us, then community has not made a home in God who is a rock. Above all it is the role of the superior to lead the community beyond fear.

Communities are usually without fear when the institutions of government – the Chapter, the Council and the Prioress – are mutually supportive instead of being in competition. The Prioress is the guardian of the dignity and voice of every member of the community. But the Prioress should receive the support of the whole community too. As Damian wrote with his customary wisdom, “It is necessary to accept that there are persistent complainers and disruptive members in communities. A Prioress has to be assisted by her community to enable these sisters to see themselves as they are and not to allow them to damage the community. And I make a plea that the mercy and consideration we should extend to each, should it not most of all be extended to our superiors?” Free discussion is different from being in opposition. If we are truly a community, then even if I did not vote for the superior, we did. If I am truly a brother or sister of a community, then I must accept that vote as my own.

A Dominican monastery has no Abbess, but a Prioress, who is prima inter pares. This expresses the friendship between equals which is our life. If the community is strong, then the transition to a new Prioress should be undramatic. Postulations should be rare. But if she has gathered around herself a group of similarly-minded nuns, who dominate the community, then the election either will be a continuation of the dynasty or a coup d’etat! A superior needs the courage to take the decisions that are properly hers, while so strengthening the whole community that the transition to her successor is painless.

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